If Change is Constant, You Might as Well Understand It:

The start of a new school year can be a mixed bag. Whether your child is just starting part-time preschool, beginning the end of elementary, or blossoming into a total teen– the constant here is change. They don't seem to stop growing, huh? Well, neither do we! 

Change is one of those non-avoidable, non-negotiables of life. We know this, we live this day after day after day; sometimes change feels easeful, reasonable, right on time. 

Other times…. Hmmmm, no so much. 

We may approach change with resistance because we're attached to how things were or how we think things "should be." 

Maybe you have a pretty good relationship with change. Decades of walking the earth and moving through seasons has taught you that change is a fact of life and eventually leads to the next best thing. But maybe you're searching to understand why your child has begun to break down in the face of fluctuation? 

Breaking Down Change-

Change = potentially scary. But… why? Especially when we know that the incoming shift is good for us– does it still have a tendency to be emotionally initiated with anxiety or fear? Well, this may highlight where things can get a little tricky. 

Our incredible, ancient minds… that could use a software update. 

While the human brain is outstanding, it's still programmed for an old way of living. Before contemporary problems, the IRS, and Instagram existed, our functions existed in a much simpler container. Run from the hungry tiger– check! We were wired with an internal system that supported survival, and hey, it worked out pretty well! That's how we got here today– writing articles about the nervous system and downloading self-help podcasts, learning strategies to soothe our fight, flight, freeze response. 

The Culprit (kind of):

The Amygdala is an almond-shaped cluster of neurons that exists within the temporal lobe. It's part of our brain's incredibly helpful limbic system; where emotional processing, responding, and regulating happens. The Amygdala, bless it, acts like a siren bell– it scans the environment and is on the hunt for tigers (proverbial in a contemporary world.) The bell goes off and our nervous system jumps into responsive action. 

It's not that our Amygdala is wrong to flag our nervous system when a significant or slight change approaches. 

A seemingly unprecedented switch disrupts the stasis of the status quo, it fronts uncertainty, 

and presents a potential threat. Which makes the limbic system go wooooah, woah woah woah. 

As our prefrontal cortex solidifies (around 26 years old) we have years of acquired wisdom in our life bank. Through mindfulness practice, we can gain the tools to facilitate our emotional responses, self-soothe, and seek the best next steps. We learn that while we can't control the future, no matter how mighty our will or reason, we learn that we can control ourselves. We trust ourselves and embrace a supportive perspective toward change. 

Now, let's consider the sensitivity of a youthful limbic system. Because the prefrontal cortex is still developing the limbic system is impressionable, reactive, and needs the support of external modeling to regulate and grow big and strong. Just like bones or the temperamental exotic plant in the bay window,  the brain continues to grow and get stronger when it is supported. 

We've no doubt of your empathy for those who are still fundamentally developing, but when we're in a state of dysregulation ourselves, it's easier to revert to our ingrained responses, the subconscious patterning we developed during our own varied childhood experiences. This is absolutely normal and mendable. Re-writing our neural pathways is possible. Practicing mindfulness is an excellent start. 

Next post, we'll dive deeper into supporting our nervous systems during times of uncertainty and share some of the tools from our mindfulness kit that model healthy regulation. In the meantime, you can check out our BBKY blog for extra resources and practices you can try today! 

Make sure to subscribe to our Substack for more mindfulness insights, exploration into neuroscience and the nervous system, resources, support, and conversations with our community. Anything specific on your mind? Drop a comment below and let us know what resonates or further curiosities we can explore. 

Until then, embrace the tigers, we'll learn how to tame them together.